aerik

I'm sure that I've come to this conclusion before, but, with my memory, it's not surprising if I've had this train of thought many times. The importance, if there is any - and I really like to think that there is, must be in the process. Or the journey, if you prefer that. Unless of course you believe in the great reward waiting for you after you die - paradise - but that isn't too far off either, since most major religions would dictate that the reward is based on your behaviour while you're alive - bringing you right back to the importance being the process.

So, it's the means more so than than the end. And really, maybe the means even justifies the end. I don't know.

I've got one more week of "vacation" left before I start my next real job. How lucky am I to have had all this time off? Pretty lucky. I go back and forth between wishing I would have done more, and being glad for everything I did - time I spent playing with my kids, working on my house, doing interesting projects, talking to my wife. And I'm certainly going to do as much of all of those things (okay, I'm leaning more toward the fun things) in the next week as I can. I had a bunch of time with family, a trip to Disneyland, some surfing and boogie-boarding, and a lot of other stuff. Pretty cool. We just went to Marine World - that was great. I have mixed feelings about the treatment of animals (same issues with zoos and circuses) but I do give some credence to the idea that first hand experience is a good educator. We rode an elephant - it was amazing. Not just entertaining - but an awe-inspiring experience to be able to touch such an incredible creature. I can only hope that they are treated well - but I can't quite bring myself to wholeheartedly condemn the idea of these beautiful creatures in captivity, only because we humans need to have some first hand experience to appreciate things. So, here's Tago, our elephant, who probably wasn't too happy, but I do appreciate the oppportunity to meet him.

Eli had his first shows this week - he sang in a kindergarten music concert at school, and he performed gymnastics for "show week" at the little gym. They were both great. He's come such a long way since the beginning of the year - he's more confident in himself and has an easier time trusting others. I guess it's a sign that he's developing self-esteem. I've seen him have an easier time approaching people (children and adults) and starting conversations, too.

So, he sang cute songs at the kindergarten concert, and he did some jumps and somersaults and other things at the little gym. Oh, and he got a medal, which is always a big hit.

I've been off work (still employed, but on paid leave pending my lay-off) for about 8 weeks. We've been having fun - I've done a few projects aroundt he house (not as much as I'd planned on, of course) and had a lot of time with the kids, which is something I really cherish. I think it has been a little wierd for the kids, me being home so much, but I think we've grown closer. Joann and I haven't gotten on each others' nerves, particularly, so that's a good thing too.

Funny (sad, really) to think I may not get a chunk of time off like this again for a long, long time... I got a job offer to start at a former managers company and I think I'm taking it. The work sounds interesting, and the money isn't too bad - less than I was getting, but it could be worse. I've also had some contracting opportunities, but a regulat job offers our family a little more security (and health benefits). Plus, this is only in Sunnyvale and the contracting opportunities were long commutes.

So, I'm going to have some extra money, since I'm also collecting severance. I think I'm going to use that to fund getting my Bachelor's degree online. I'm also doing some freelance programming and I hope to build up a business - maybe even enough to live on, particularly if I move somewhere cheaper and don't have a mortgage to worry about....